This is the sixteenth part in a series, so if you have not already done so, you might want to read Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part XIV, and Part XV before continuing.
Once we had recovered from our fit of giggles, Jessica said, “Have you started taking an antidepressant?”
I shook my head as I took a sip of tea, which had gone cold, but it was still sweet and smooth and comforting. “I can’t get an appointment with my GP until next month,” I said, thinking about what I had said to my therapist about trying not to die until my GP’s calendar cleared. I had been half joking at the time, but now it seemed like a very real possibility. I honestly didn’t know how long I could keep going with all these negative emotions swirling through me.
Jessica nodded. “Yeah, that’s unfortunately really common right now. Our healthcare system is just overwhelmed. What about your therapist?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I actually just talked to them this morning and they gave me some really good tips for focusing on the present and getting back in my body. And as I’m saying that, I just realized I didn’t do any of that after seeing that awful Instagram post.”
Jessica laughed. “Don’t worry about it. It’s definitely something that takes practice, so don’t expect it to be second nature right away. Did you talk to your therapist about the Instagram post?”
I shook my head and explained that I had just finished a therapy session when I had opened the Instagram app and seen the post.
“You do realize that going on social media right after a therapy session is a great way to undo all that work you just did in therapy, right?”
I laughed. “Actually, I was opening the app with the intention of looking at all the puppy accounts I follow because those never fail to cheer me up. I had just forgotten that I was still following Nikki, so the post popped up at the top of my feed before I had a chance to seek out the happy, uplifting content I was looking for. Come to think of it, I think I’m still following Randy, too, but he never posts, so that’s not urgent.”
“OK, I just want to make sure you didn’t go from talking to your therapist to looking up Nikki’s socials to see what she’s up to.”
I shook my head vigorously. “Hell no. If I never see her again, virtually or otherwise, it’ll be too soon.”
“OK, good. Do you want to unfollow Nikki and Randy now?”
I froze. “Right now? As in, right this second?”
“Why not?”
I considered. Honestly, the first thing that came to mind in the “why not” category was because it would involve seeing the post that had created the tornado of emotions in my chest that had taken way too long to get under control again.
As if reading my thoughts, Jessica held out her hand and said, “Why don’t you unlock your phone and let me do it?”
“Kay,” I said, without hesitation. I unlocked the screen, and almost opened the Instagram app before stopping myself and handing it over. She could manage to open and navigate the app herself.
Once she had deleted the two traitors from my Instagram, she asked what other social media channels I followed them on: Facebook, Threads, TikTok, and LinkedIn, although they never posted on LinkedIn. Jessica removed their connections anyway, just in case, and as soon as she handed back my phone, I literally breathed a sigh of relief. I felt as if a giant weight had been lifted. “Thank you,” I said as I took my phone back and tucked it into my pocket.
Then I handed her mug back and promised not to darken her door until the weekend at the very earliest.
To be continued…