FGFGFGFGFGFGFGFGFG: Part II

This is the second part in a series, so if you have not already done so, you might want to read Part I before continuing.

“Hey, my computer died. Can I use yours for a quick sec? I just need to shoot an email to my agent real quick.”

“Can’t you use your phone?”

“I forgot it at Marla’s.”

“How could you forget your phone?”

“I just did, OK? I was in a rush. Now are you going to help me out or not?”

“Yeah, sure.” Josh got up from his desk without bothering to close down anything that was open on his screen.

“Thanks.” Henry hadn’t meant to snoop through Josh’s email, but one caught his eye, and he couldn’t help taking a closer look. “Since when do you have a GoVenus profile?”

Josh didn’t look up from his phone as he said, “About a month ago when my parents made me. They threatened to cut me off without a dime if I didn’t, so I put in the bare minimum to make them happy. I never look at it and I never get any messages.”

“Until now.”

That made Josh look up. “What?”

“Some girl just messaged you.” Henry went ahead and opened the email as Josh leaned over his shoulder to read it:

“The questions on this site are dumb, right? Any chance you’d want to get together for coffee to talk about how dumb they are?”

“What is she talking about?”

“Hang on,” said Josh as he took the laptop back and started searching through his deleted emails. “There she is.”

“Where?”

“I remember this now. I did get an email from GoVenus yesterday saying I had a match, but I didn’t even open it. Look what the stupid site thinks makes us soul mates.” He presented the computer screen to Henry: “POIEWAJR,AN;LIYDAF.”

Henry looked up at Josh. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“When I filled out my profile, I answered that question with ‘FG’ over and over again. This girl is clearly as invested in this site as I am, so she put in a similar nonsense answer and the dumb site thinks that makes us a match.”

“What if it does?”

“What?”

“What if you two really are soulmates?”

“Exactly how much have you been smoking lately?”

“I’m serious. It just seems like too much to be a coincidence, don’t you think? I mean, what are the chances you would find someone in the area who’s as lazy as you are?”

“Hey, watch who you’re calling lazy.”

“You know what I mean. It’s just that, if you both don’t care about this site, then maybe the things you two do care about are the same.”

“Huh?”

“I’m just saying, she sounds pretty cool from that message she sent you. It couldn’t hurt to meet her for coffee. You already have a funny story to bond over.”

“What would we talk about? How we made up answers to the site’s questions and didn’t mean a word we said?”

“Yeah. Then you can talk about what your answers would have been if you had cared about your profiles at all.”

“I dunno. It doesn’t exactly sound like the basis for a healthy, honest relationship.”

“Come on. How often do you get the chance to go on a blind date with a girl where you have a ready-made conversation?”

Josh had nothing to say to that.

“It would get your parents off your back.”

“Fine! One cup of coffee.”

To be continued…