“If I have to hear one more white guy manspain Zora Neale Hurston to me, I’m going to rip his throat out.”
“Go for it.”
“You’re not exactly talking me down off the ledge here, Siobhan.”
“Was I supposed to?”
Jessica glared at her for a second before saying, “I guess not. If I go to jail for manslaughter, you’d get this room to yourself and that would be a pretty sweet gig for you, wouldn’t it?”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. Supportive. White people are the worst. Men are the worst. White men are the culmination of all that is evil in this world. They’re not worth the trouble it would take you to kill them, much less the punishment you would receive for said slaughter. What else would you like to hear?”
Jessica sighed as she sat heavily on the edge of her bed. “I don’t know. Something to distract me.”
Siobhan looked around at her desk, looking for inspiration before finally finding it on her computer screen. “Hey, remember how I had to fill out a profile on GoVenus.net for my Gender Studies class?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I got a match.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not. I even opened the email I got to see what they thought made us compatible. There were some questions where we had to type something, so I just pressed random letters on my keys. It was just gibberish. Check out the answer this guy gave to the same questions.”
Jessica got up from her bed and leaned over her roommate’s shoulder to view the answer: fgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfg
“You should totally connect with him!”
“What?”
“You were clearly made for each other.”
“You’re kidding, right? He probably just filled out a profile for an assignment like I did.”
“And his laziness is a perfect match for yours. You have to go out with him.”
“Laziness!”
“You know what I mean.”
“Excuse me, but who stayed up all night the other night making those flash cards? Not you. You just got to sit back and reap the benefits of all my hard work.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s not what I meant, and you know it. I’m just saying, wouldn’t it be perfect if you two turned out to be soul mates? I can’t think of a better origin story for you and your husband than this right here. It’s the perfect meet cute.”
Siobhan rolled her eyes. “This isn’t a Bollywood movie.”
“But it could be.” Jessica’s voice had done that thing it does where it goes really soft and gushy and her eyes were wide and hopeful as they gazed at her roommate.
“Oh, goddess.”
“Just message him back. See if he responds.”
“I’m not messaging someone on a dating site I didn’t want to be on in the first place.”
“What do you have to lose?”
Siobhan thought about it and realized Jessica was right. Chances are he would never message her back and it would shut Jessica up. “All right. I’ll message him.”
Jessica squealed, jumping up and down as she clapped her hands. Siobhan hated it when she did that.
To be continued…
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