Photo credit: dkshots via Foter.com / CC BY-NC
“Hi honey,” Heather greeted her husband from where she stood in the kitchen over a salad bowl. “How was your trip?”
“It was fun. We saw the Statue of Liberty and went all the way up to the top of the Empire State Building. Good thing I stocked up on quarters before we left, because they kept fighting over the binoculars until they timed out. Fortunately someone next to us left their set, so the kids finally didn’t have anything left to fight over. I’m glad we were able to go in the middle of a weekday or I never would have been so lucky.”
“Poor baby,” Heather said with a hint of sarcasm.
“Don’t get me wrong,” said Andy, picking up on his wife’s insincerity. “I love my kids and I couldn’t imagine my life without them, but there are times when it seems like it would be easier to just chuck them over the fence at the top of the Empire State building.”
Heather elbowed her husband gently. “You’d be distraught without them and you know it.”
“Yeah, but don’t tell them that, it’ll go straight to their heads. Oh, and we ran into Grant McAllister.”
“Oh? How’s he doing?”
“Pretty much just what I thought he would be doing. He was wearing an expensive business suit and carrying an expensive briefcase. He was furiously typing something on his phone as he was walking. If I hadn’t recognized him and called his name, he would have walked right past me without ever knowing I was there.”
“Poor guy. Aren’t you glad you don’t have one of those high-powered corporate jobs?”
“Am I ever! The poor guy was probably rushing off to a boring meeting while I was spending the day exploring New York City with my kids. I wouldn’t trade places with him for the world.”
“You never regret not having applied for that promotion?”
“Not really. Sure, the extra money would have been nice, but it would have meant I’d never get to spend any real time with you or the kids ever again. I’d much rather be able to take my vacation time without feeling guilty about it. Why? Do you think I should have gone for it? Do you wish you were married to a successful businessman instead of little old me in my dead-end job?”
Heather wrinkled her nose and drew her head back. “Ugh! No! If you had, I’d be stuck with those brats all day while you were at work all the time. Instead, I got to spend the day binge-watching Jessica Jones while the kids got to spend some quality time with their father.”
“You watched it without me?”
“You watched it first, remember?”
“Yeah, but you weren’t supposed to know about it.”
“That’s what happens when you share a Netflix account with your wife. Either that or one of the kids watched it.” Their eyes met and then they simultaneously shuddered.
“OK,” said Andy. “It was me. I admit it.”
“Good, ‘cause I’m not ready to explain to the kids what rape is, much less rape under mind control.”
“Neither am I.”
The end.