This is the twentieth part in a series, so if you have not already done so, you might want to read Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part XIV, Part XV, Part XVI, Part XVII, Part XVIII, and Part XIX before continuing.
The next morning I woke up with a splitting headache that was not made better by my phone going off right next to my pillow.
In my scramble to make the noise stop, I accidentally accepted the FaceTime call from Maddy, who promptly squealed, “Aunt Charlie! Aunt Charlie! Look at my drawing!”
“I … what?”
I squinted at the screen, trying to make sense of what was happening. Then I saw the self-view and realized what a mess I was. “Jesus Christ!”
I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to get it to look less like a rat’s nest. At least I had remembered to put on my pajamas before falling into bed so I didn’t have to worry about being indecent. Not that Maddy hasn’t seen it all with her two moms and a three-year-old’s lack of understanding of personal boundaries, but still.
“Maddy? What are you doing with my phone?”
“Talking to Aunty Charlie.”
Audrey Rose’s face appeared on the screen behind Maddy’s. “Hi Charlie. Oh, you look terrible.”
“Thanks.”
“Did Maddy wake you up?”
“Sure did.”
“At this hour?”
“What time is it?” I squinted at the top of my phone screen, looking for the time. I found it at the same time Audrey Rose said, “It’s after eight o’clock.”
“Really? I can’t believe Uncle Phil let me sleep in this late.”
“Neither can I. I assumed he’d have you helping around the farm.”
“He did. I spent the other day helping him herd cattle.” I winced as the memory of it reminded me how sore I still was.
“Are you OK? I wasn’t just giving you a hard time when I said you look terrible. You genuinely look terrible.”
“Yeah, you look really bad, Aunt Charlie.”
“Thanks, Maddy. And, yes, I’m fine. I got in a fight with Michael last night and ended up drinking my feelings.”
“That’s a terrible idea.”
“Really? Gee, thanks. I never would have figured that one out on my own.”
“Well, your sarcasm is still intact. That’s a good sign.”
“What’s sarcasm,” said Maddy.
“It’s when you say the opposite of what you mean,” said Audrey Rose.
“Like a lie.”
“No. When you lie, you’re trying to make the other person believe what you’re saying. When you’re being sarcastic, there’s a tone you use to let people know you don’t mean it.”
“What kind of a tone?”
Audrey Rose seemed to be stumped, so she turned to me. “Charlie, you’re the word person. How would you describe it?”
I thought about it for a minute, but came up empty. “I don’t know if I could describe it. I think you just have to learn by example. Here, Maddy, it sounds like this.” I repeated my line about how I wouldn’t have figured out on my own that drinking my feelings was a bad idea, but I slowed down my speech and gave it that rolling tone that’s unique to sarcasm.
Maddy giggled. “You sound silly.”
“Thanks. Not sure if that’s the sarcasm or the hangover.”
“What’s a hangover?”
“OK, why don’t you go see if Dama’s ready to take you to day care?”
“Kay!” Maddy dropped the phone on the floor as she scampered off and I waited for Audrey Rose to pick it up while trying to contain her frustration with her daughter’s carelessness.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“About what?”
“Your fight with Michael last night.”
I groaned and rubbed my eyes.
“I’ll take that as a no. In that case, as much as I hate to kick you when you’re down, I have bad news for you.”
“Nooooooo,” I whined.
“Sorry, but whining won’t make this go away. Dad called.”
“Ugh. So?”
“He wants to know why you didn’t call him when you got laid off and broke up with Vincent.”
I started to laugh, but doing so hurt my head. “All this time and he still hasn’t gotten the message that I don’t want him in my life? I don’t know how I could have been any clearer, what with the not having him in my life for the past 12 years and all.”
“I think he’s been hoping that you would come to him when life knocked you down and you needed a hand. Now that you’ve been knocked down and you’re not reaching for his hand, I think he’s getting desperate.”
“Desperate? What does that mean?”
“I think it means he’s not going to take no for an answer.”
I buried my head in my pillow and groaned again.
“Look, obviously you’re not equipped to deal with this today, but I wanted to give you the heads up. You can’t avoid him forever.”
“You wanna bet?”
“Yeah, actually I would take that bet. But given the state you’re in, I’m not sure you’re in any condition to make financial decisions, so I’m going to hang up and go to work.”
I had nothing to say to that, so I just mumbled some nonsense.
“What was that?”
“I said I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Then I felt bad for being snarky, so I said, “Wait, Audrey Rose?”
“Yeah?”
“I really do love you. Thanks for the heads up. And I apologize for being snarky and for being a mess in front of your daughter.”
“I really do love you, too. You’re welcome. And while I don’t love Maddy seeing you like this, I’m less concerned about that than I am about you. Are you OK?”
“Yeah. I just didn’t expect to have all these … feelings coming back here.”
“Feelings for Michael,” she teased.
“OK, I’m hanging up now.”
Her cackle was the last thing I heard as I managed to find the button to end the call.
To be continued…