FGFGFGFGFGFGFGFGFG: Part III

This is the third part in a series, so if you have not already done so, you might want to read Part I and Part II before continuing.

“He said yes.” Siobhan stared at her screen. She hadn’t been prepared for this outcome. “Now what?”

“Now you pick a time and place. Somewhere public. And don’t let him pick you up.”

“Yes, I know how to avoid a creepy stalker, thanks all the same. I’m pretty sure the first step is to not go on any dates with random guys you meet on the internet.”

“It’ll be fine. It’s just a cup of coffee. If he turns out to be a total weirdo, you can bail. I can come if you want.”

“Aren’t you afraid you’d just be a third wheel?”

“I didn’t mean I’d sit with you. I’d sit at a different table. Out of earshot, but within sight. If he starts to creep you out you can give me a hand signal or something and I can call you with an emergency and pull you right out of there.”

Siobhan groaned. “Fake emergency is the oldest trick in the book. He’ll see right through it.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe he’s really dumb.”

Siobhan groaned again.

“OK, OK. Not helpful. I get that. What do you need from me?”

Siobhan looked skeptically at her computer, one eyebrow raised as she considered Josh’s profile picture. “Talk me out of it?”

“Nope. Too late. I’ve already talked you into it. There’s no going back now. Not until you’ve at least met with him.”

“But his profile picture is a selfie he took at the gym. You know what kind of guys use that as their profile picture?”

“Gay guys?”

“Usually, yes. And narcissists. Although those two are not necessarily mutually exclusive.”

“Look at you judging someone by their picture. Isn’t that the kind of thing you were taught not to do in your gender studies class?”

“Not necessarily. We were looking at the different ways men and women portray themselves. No part of the discussion dealt with the idea that we shouldn’t – except maybe that we should stop fat-shaming women.”

“How do you know he even looks like that? If he was as lazy about filling out that profile as you were, he might have just used a stock photo. That could be from an advertisement for a gym.”

Siobhan squinted at the picture. “No, it’s definitely a selfie – not high quality enough to be professional, but I see your point. See, this is why internet dating is the worst.”

“You don’t know that yet. Just shoot him a quick message telling him if you look anything like your profile picture so at least he’ll be able to find you when you meet up.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Make sure the potential serial killer can identify me, even though I won’t be able to identify him.”

“Would you stop with the dramatic talk? Like I said, I’ll be there with you. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

“What if he poisons my drink?”

“You know not to leave your drink unattended in a public place. And, again, I’ll be watching.”

“What if he’s the barista?”

“Make sure you pick the coffee spot so he can’t choose his place of employment.”

“What if I pick a place and he applies for a job there and poisons me?”

“Change the location at the last minute.”

“What if he -?”

“Siobhan! Just go on the date already!”

To be continued…