Brittney’s head was whipped to one side as she entered the part of her brain she reserved for these special moments.
She went back to that alley. She crouched in a dark corner.
Here, she couldn’t be seen. But she could still see. She was cloaked in darkness, but the world around her was illuminated, so she watched. She kept her back to the stone wall and her eyes open wide so as not to miss a thing.
It was about discipline. She would wait as long as she had to for her opportunity to present itself.
In the meantime, crouching in the dark kept her safe. It kept her from attracting attention, which was key. She didn’t want anyone to suspect that she would strike – that she could strike – until after she’d done it.
It was a careful balancing act. Playing to their expectations and mollifying their fears without giving in to the perception she was creating. It was important to build a wall between the interior and the exterior. The exterior was all soft innocence. The interior was hard, strong, capable, ready to pounce.
So, she played her part, but she made sure to play it in such a way that reminded her of who she truly was. Who she was going to become. She knew they wanted her to forget, and she knew she couldn’t forget. As soon as she forgot her true self, she would be as good as dead.
So, she went back to that dark corner in the alley, but she made sure to remind herself that it was her alley, her corner, her darkness, her choice.
Outside, her father continued to beat her until she lost consciousness.
To be continued…