This is the third part in a series, so if you have not already done so, you might want to read Part I and Part II before continuing.
Maddy,
If you’re reading this, it’s because my time has come before we got a chance to meet face to face, and that makes me so sad.
I was so excited to be an aunt. I was lucky enough to have a really great aunt when I was growing up. She bought us these dinky little plastic toys we would play with for hours. She carved pumpkins with us, took us to the zoo, and when we went out to eat with her, she had all sorts of little games she would play to keep us entertained until our food arrived.
I was so looking forward to doing all that with you. I always wanted to be an aunt, but your mom made it clear I was not welcome. Funny how she always talked about wanting to be part of a family, but never did anything to try to make herself a part of our family. All she ever did was tear it apart.
But I don’t want this letter to be about her. I just wanted you to know that I thought of you every day. Family members shared pictures and home videos of you, so I got to see you growing up, if only from a distance. Once you got on social media, I stalked you there so I could see what you were up to. I know how creepy that sounds. And I know saying I only wanted the best for you doesn’t make it sound less creepy. Hopefully you’ll take this as a sign to update your privacy settings.
I never got married and I never had kids, which means you and your brother are the only ones to whom I can pass on everything I’ve collected over the years. I tried not to collect and hang onto too much junk. Your grandmother was a hoarder, and it took us months to clear out all her stuff. I vowed then and there that I would never leave such a mess for whomever has to clean up after me.
I mostly stuck to that vow. I apologize for the junk I couldn’t bring myself to let go of. I don’t know why women are always the ones left cleaning up other people’s messes. I can only hope you’ll make your brother help out.
It feels like I should have more to say to you after all this time. I know throwing a pile of money at you can’t even begin to make up for missing your whole life, but I’m afraid it’s all I can do from where I am now. When I was young and had no money, I always hated the way your grandfather would throw money at me, then hold it over my head later. It took me a long time to realize that buying us stuff was his way of showing love and trying to make up for the time he couldn’t spend with us when we were young and he was spending a lot of time at the office. I also think it took him a long time to get to a place where he could give money without strings attached.
So, while I know money is not love, it’s the only thing your mom can’t stop me from giving you. I hope you’ll wear the jewelry and think of me, your grandmother, your great grandmother, and your great aunt, because, while some of the jewelry is I bought for myself, a lot of it came to me from them.
I hope you do something with the money that makes you happy, or even just makes your life a little easier. There’s a saying that money doesn’t solve problems, but that’s just false. Money can solve a lot of problems. I hope this money solves at least a few of yours.
One more thing. Listen to Helen. She’s a damn good lawyer, and if you don’t know what to do with your new windfall, she can steer you in the right direction.
I don’t know what afterlife you believe in (if any), but I have always believed in reincarnation. So, while I’m sorry we never got to meet in this life, I hope we get to have a blast together in the next.
Love always,
Aunt Alison
To be continued…