This is the third part in a series, so if you have not already done so, you might want to check out Part I and Part II before continuing.
Still full from my Happy Meal, and now rested from my nap, I was feeling ambitious. I looked around, but all I saw was houses, a school, more houses, and the McDonald’s. Residential areas could be good places to crash, especially when they were nice, like this, but they didn’t provide many opportunities for someone like me to get what I needed.
So, I made my way over to the McDonald’s. This time, I went right past the front door and around the building to the back door where the dumpsters were located. Worst case, I could get food someone else had thrown away. Best case, I could get someone to help me out.
I was holding the lid of one dumpster up as I scanned the top of its contents for anything promising. Despite the fact that I was, technically, dumpster diving, I was not yet desperate enough to actually dive into the dumpster in search of food.
While I was looking into the dumpster, someone came out the back door of the restaurant with a garbage bag in hand. They saw me quickly drop the lid of the dumpster and they sagged in exasperation. “Seriously, dude?”
“Let me help you with that,” I said, reaching for the garbage bag.
They pulled it back. “Why, so you can steal out of it?”
I had learned from experience not to point out that they were throwing it away, so why should it matter to them whether I took it or the garbage truck did?
Instead, I said, “Just let me help out. You don’t have to pay me much. Just a little under the table, you know?”
He rolled his eyes. “And your illegal? Of course you are.”
I was not, in fact, “illegal.” But I had noticed several yard signs in the area saying things like, “No human is illegal.” Funny how these neighborhoods love their signs. Practicing what those signs preach doesn’t seem to appeal to them as much.
“I’m not illegal. I just lost my paperwork.”
“How convenient,” he deadpanned.
“I just need a little help. I’m willing to work.”
“Sure, long enough to get close enough to steal whatever you can. I wouldn’t let you within a mile of the cash register.”
I chose not to point out I was already well within a mile of the cash register. “I don’t even know how to work a cash register. But I can clean. And I can stock shelves. Anything you need.” He took a minute to look me up and down, then brushed past me as he said, “Right now I need to get this garbage in the dumpster. And I’m going to talk to the manager about putting chains on them so you can’t steal from us again.”
To be continued…