“Pat, I need that report on … are you crying?”
“No,” Pat said, hurriedly wiping her eyes with the palm of her hand.
“It’s not your time of the month, is it?” Her colleague, Matt, literally looked down his nose at her with a look on his face that suggested she might start spewing blood from her pussy at any moment.
Pat rolled her eyes. “No, it is not. Not that it’s any of your business. I was just reading some of these testimonials people submitted for our website and some of them are just heart wrenching. This one, for example, where a construction worker talks about the chronic back pain he suffers from as a result of his years on the job. He’s tried everything, but the only thing that does any good is our medication.”
“Perfect! That’s perfect. Can you send it to me?”
“Sure. I was just about to put it up on the website. Do you want me to wait until you’ve had a chance to look at it?”
“No, go ahead and put it up on the website right away. As fast as you can. Then send it to me. That’ll really come in handy for the lawsuit.”
“What?”
“I know, can you believe it? We’re getting sued by the federal government.”
“For what?”
“Negligence, misleading consumers, a whole laundry list of stuff, so I need that testimonial right away. Is there a picture of the guy?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Is he white?”
“Yes,” Pat said slowly, not sure what that had to do with anything.
“Perfect. White people suffering always plays well with politicians, especially if they’re working class.”
He started to walk off, but Pat called after him, standing up from her desk as she did so. “When can I expect to be briefed on this lawsuit?”
Matt turned around. “What?”
“As the Communications Manager, this lawsuit is exactly the kind of thing I need to know about so I can determine what kind of messaging the company should put out. That way, if anyone comes to us with any questions, we’ll have answers. If the federal government is suing us, we need to get ahead of the story so we can control the narrative, but I can’t do any of that if I’m not in the loop.”
“Good idea. We’re meeting this afternoon, I’ll send you the details.”
Pat suppressed the urge to say, “Duh!” at the implication that HER ENTIRE JOB was a good idea. As if hiring her was more of an eccentricity than a strategic decision to help the company develop a strong brand and communicate that brand to the world at large.
To be continued…