This is the fifth part in a series, so if you have not already done so, you might want to read Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV before continuing.
Jessica’s apartment is right above ours, so the first thing I did was stomp on the floor, hoping it would disturb Randy. I stomped harder and harder until I was jumping up and down and putting all my weight into it.
“OK, OK, that’s enough,” Jessica said as she reached out to hold me down. “You’ve made your point, and as far as I know, my floors are innocent, so don’t take it out on them.”
“Sorry.”
“First thing’s first. Do you have a therapist?” Jessica asked as she filled her kettle with water to make some tea.
“Yes.”
“Good. What about an antidepressant?”
“I don’t need an antidepressant. I’m just going through some stuff.”
“Honey, we all go through stuff from time to time. Not all of us throw ourselves in front of moving vehicles as a result. Now, I’m not trying to shame you, because this is not your fault. But it is something that needs to be addressed ASAP so we can make sure you never scare me like that again, understood?”
I couldn’t even look at her as I nodded. I was so ashamed.
“Promise me you’ll make an appointment with your GP as soon as you’re calm enough to do so.”
“I promise.”
“Good. Let me know when the appointment is. I’ll go with you if you want, but only if you want me to. I’ll pick up your prescription if you need me to. Anything I can do to make sure you have what you need, I’m going to do.”
I felt my throat close up as tears pooled in my eyes again. I didn’t have words for how grateful I was to have someone who had my back in this moment.
So, I went over and I hugged her.
She put down the mugs she had pulled down to make tea in and hugged me back. We just stood there like that until the kettle started to whistle.
To be continued…