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I happened to see this book on Goodreads’s list of new releases back in May and impulsively ordered it from the library and I’m so glad I did!
This book is so good. It’s about a high school girl named Amanda who used to be a boy named Andrew. The author, Meredith Russo, who is also transgender, admits it’s unlikely Amanda’s parents would have been able to afford the operation with its cocktail of hormones, but this is fiction after all and she’s allowed to take some liberties.
Amanda’s parents split up as a direct result of her father not being able to deal with his son claiming he’s a girl and insistence on doing “girly” things. So Andrew lives with his mother and sees a therapist regularly until one day he decides he can’t take it any more and he tries to kill himself.
Obviously he’s unsuccessful. His suicide note to his therapist tells him Andrew is really a girl, so once he gets out of the hospital, they start discussing options.
The story starts shortly after Andrew becomes Amanda. She goes to use the women’s bathroom, a girl in her class screams when she recognizes Amanda, and the girl’s father gives Amanda a black eye. So Amanda goes to live with her father, even though she hasn’t seen or talked to him in years (not even after her suicide attempt), and start fresh at a new school.
At first, everything seems to go well. Her father is having a hard time accepting facts, but he’s making a real effort to do so and he’s very protective of his child. Amanda befriends a group of girls, one misfit, and even starts dating the quarterback.
Almost as soon as they start dating, Amanda wonders if she should tell him. She figures she’s going to have to eventually if they’re going to have a real relationship and she’s probably right, but she keeps putting it off until one of her friends betrays her and tells the whole school her secret.
Throughout the book I was rooting for Amanda to get her happy ending, even as I was unsure she could realistically get it. Grant seemed like a really great guy, but he’s still a teenage boy growing up in Tennessee – one can only expect so much from him. I thought Russo did an excellent job of giving Amanda a (mostly) happy ending that felt realistic. She never downplays how much danger Amanda is in and the climax was certainly a nail biter!
I only had a couple minor issues with the book. Russo talked about Andrew’s father taking him out to play catch on a regular basis and yet Andrew never learned how to throw a ball properly. That’s ridiculous. There’s nothing about being feminine that makes anyone incapable of throwing a ball. If Andrew’s father taught him how to throw a ball and made him do so on a consistent basis, he would learn how to throw a fucking ball and it wouldn’t make him any less of a girl!
My other issue was that I really wanted to see Amanda’s first meeting with the girl who told her secret to the whole school after the secret was out. I was really hoping the traitor would fall on her knees and beg Amanda’s forgiveness, but the reader doesn’t get to see if she does that or totally blows it off or leaves school altogether and that made the story feel less complete, but I guess that’s just me. Russo does mention that, no matter what she does, Amanda will never be able to trust her again and that’s true.
What did you guys read this week? Any other new YA fiction I should check out? Let me know!