A journalist stumbles into a whole subculture of pickup artists and ends up getting embedded in the community before he starts writing (and publishing) about it.
This book was mentioned in another book I was reading, and when I read the description, I was sold.
The author, Neil Strauss, started out by taking a class on how to pick up women at bars and clubs.
His self-confidence is low, and he’s intimidated by women, so he signs up for the class so he can learn the secrets to making himself attractive to women.
It was fascinating to learn the ways they figured out how to manipulate women, but there are also so many things wrong with this world.
The most obvious is that it objectifies women, and Strauss does acknowledge that as he gets more immersed in the community and his “number” (i. e. number of women he’s slept with) goes up.
At the same time it was almost kind of humanizing. He learned that women often want sex with no strings attached just as much as men do. It’s sad that he had to go through all this to learn that, but not nearly as sad as the rest of the book.
Ultimately, the men who find their way into the pickup community are just sad and lonely and think sex with beautiful women will make them less lonely, but of course it doesn’t work like that.
In fact, when the author finally finds a girl he really likes, all the pickup tricks he’s learned just put her off because they make him an asshole. She’s not an insecure wannabe at a bar. She’s a woman of substance and she’s looking for a real relationship, not a one-night stand. It’s not until Strauss drops the act that they finally get together.
Unfortunately, he’s unable to make one of his PUA friends see the light and overcome his self destructive behaviors.
This book was fascinating from a psychological perspective, but mostly I just felt sorry for all these lonely men trying so hard not to be the pathetic little boys they are.