DOD: June 24, 1844
COD: Stroke
The autopsy of Ebenezer Scrooge confirmed that the subject died of a massive stroke in the right, dorsal region of the brain. The autopsy also found evidence of another, earlier stroke that caused severe brain damage to the pre-frontal cortex, but did not kill the subject. Judging by the extensive damage and the amount of repair the brain was able to manage before the final stroke, we estimate the first stroke occurred sometime in late December of last year.
This would explain the hallucinations the subject complained of on the night of December 24th, 1843, as well as the massive behavioral changes exhibited by the subject after that date, as described by his employees and acquaintances.
Although the amount of repair to the brain after the first stroke is minimal, it does explain the subject’s tendency to revert back to old habits and behaviors in the last few weeks of his life. His employees and acquaintances noticed he became more thrifty and short tempered again, more in line with the behavior he exhibited prior to the first stroke, and less in line with his recent resolution to “keep Christmas all year round”. The subject may even have been able to make a full recovery had it not been for the second, fatal stroke.
While it may not be professional, let me just say, on a personal note, that we should all be grateful that the subject perished before he could fully revert to the stingy old bastard that no one could stand.
This concludes the autopsy report for Ebenezer Scrooge.
Note: Yes, I know autopsies are generally not done on elderly people who apparently died of natural causes, especially in Victorian England, and their understanding of brain anatomy was touchy, at best. I ask you to suspend your disbelief long enough to join in this bit of fun with me.